Finding your identity

You're allowed to be whoever you like. No-one can tell you who you are. Everyone is unique and is not fully described by any label or combination of labels.

Sooner or later, however, you will find you will need to use words to describe yourself to other people. There are a number of common words - terms - used to describe people, which all have advantages and disadvantages.

Commonly used terms

Click a term for more information on what a term means and when to use it.

Terms to avoid

Some terms are commonly used as a slur - an offensive word used to insult or attack people. Some of these words may be upsetting or traumatic for people, and we strongly suggest you avoid using them. If you want to find out more about these terms, you can read our page about them.

There are also terms which are specific to a particular culture, such as two spirit, hijra, or kathoey. Do not use these terms to describe yourself unless you are a member of the culture that the term comes from - that would be cultural appropriation. You can read more about these identities on the PBS website.

People from other cultures may not wish to be described as transgender or nonbinary, because these terms use a particular way of thinking about gender specific to Western culture. Terms like these may not correctly describe who the person is, or how they interact with the society around them.

What terms should I use?

You can use your judgement to choose the most appropriate terms to describe yourself. The terms you use may vary depending on where you are and who you are describing yourself to.

Construct your own

You can also create your own terms to describe yourself that better fit who you are - even the most commonly used terms have only been around a few decades at most, and more are being invented all the time!

Errors and omissions

Is there something missing from this page? Have you spotted something that isn’t correct? Please tweet us or message us on Facebook to let us know.